Life’s Little Instruction Book

Enter

Courage Comes With Practice

I grew up with a lot of restrictions and rules that were meant to protect me. I couldn't walk home from school by myself, even though everyone I knew already did. I couldn't attend pajama parties or go to summer camp, because what if something happened to me?

As I got older, the list of things to fear got longer. My entire life was divided into "things you should avoid" and "things you needed to do in order to have a good, long life." I know my mom was only trying to protect me. She worried about me because after my brother died, I was her only child — and what if something happened to me? What if?

I became a natural worrier. I worry about things like getting cancer, losing my wallet, car accidents, earthquakes, having a brain aneurysm, losing my job and my plane crashing — disasters big and small, real and imagined.

The funny part is you'd never know it by looking at my life, because I'm constantly forcing myself to do the things that frighten or worry me. In fact, I've developed a rule for myself: If it scares me, then I have to do it at least once. I've done lots of things that my mom would have worried about: I've ridden a motorcycle, I've traveled — a lot. In fact, I've lived in China. I've performed stand-up comedy, and I'm planning my second wedding. I still travel to China often, chasing bird flu as a medical anthropologist.

There's something else I don't usually talk about, but it's a cornerstone in my belief: When I was 14, my mother died suddenly in a car accident. That loss, on top of my brother's unnatural death, could have paralyzed me, but at my mom's funeral I remember making a choice. I could either live out the rest of my life trying to be "safe" or I could be brave enough to live out a fulfilling, exciting and, yes, sometimes dangerous life.

I worry that I may have betrayed my mother by writing about her in this light, but she has been a driving force in my life — and in the end I think she would have been proud of me. Courage isn't a natural attribute of human beings. I believe that we have to practice being courageous; using courage is like developing a muscle. The more often I do things that scare me or that make me uncomfortable, the more I realize that I can do a lot more than I originally thought I could do.

Even though I inherited my mother's cautious nature, I've also come to believe that fear can be a good thing, if we face it. Believing that has made my world a less scary place.

by THERESA MACPHAIL

Enter

How To Survive Life's Tests

I believe in toughness, steeliness and even meanness.

I learned these traits from my father. Toughness came first. I am the first-born and the son he never had. I'm the one he took to the gym, the one who could run faster than the boys, the one who played all day with a broken collarbone. I'm the one who thought my daddy was the toughest man around — and I wanted to be just like him. He never missed a day of school, worked as a dishwasher to pay his college tuition, and toiled as an accountant by day and attended law school at night.

My dad also taught me steeliness, an unwillingness to surrender. Steeliness kept me from being raped once. I fought my attacker. I left an imprint of my phone on his face. I memorized details of his face and clothing. Determined to keep other women from being violated, I identified him, testified against him and made sure he went to jail.

Sometimes even toughness and steeliness aren't enough. I also believe in meanness.

I am not a large woman; petite, in fact. I cannot command respect with my presence and stature. As a community college English instructor in a tough town, I teach people who aren't always eager to learn. I'm the mean teacher. I like to push students harder than they want to be pushed. Some of them don't like me at the time, but they usually end up appreciating me later on. "Hate me now, love me later" is my motto.

I'm even mean with myself. Sometimes it's meanness that gets me out of bed in the morning, like after a night of drinking too much. I'm not nice to myself — I don't give myself permission to stay home. Some of my best teaching days have been the result of my refusal to make others suffer for my poor self-discipline. Meanness with myself keeps me accountable.

That tough and steely will my father gave me helps me bear the loss of him. I watched him die of cancer, but he never gave up on wanting to live. Perhaps it would have been easier on both him and the family had he given in to death, had he not fought to the absolute last breath. Although I do not have him in my life anymore, I got to see him as himself to the very end of his. I understand the poet Dylan Thomas, who pleads with his own father to "rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Women are usually encouraged to be gentle. But when life has tested me the most, I believe it's my toughness, my steeliness and even my meanness that get me through.

by KENDRA JONES

Enter

We're All Different in Our Own Ways

if everyone in the world was exactly alike? What if everyone talked the same, acted the same, listened to the same music and watched the same TV programs? The world would be extremely dull!
I believe it's important to accept people for who they are.
Differences are important and they should be respected. For example, many important people throughout history were considered different, such as Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Harriet Tubman, Peter Tchaikovsky and Abraham Lincoln. They did great things, but some people thought they were weird because they had strong feelings about something. I can relate to these people because I've been in that situation before, many times.
It all started in elementary school when I realized that I wasn't like everyone else. My mom says that I have a tendency of obsessing on certain subjects. Unfortunately, these subjects don't interest other kids my age and they really don't interest my teachers. In fact, my kindergarten teacher said she would scream if I mentioned snakes or lizards one more time while she was teaching the days of the week. I would get in trouble for not paying attention — and the teasing began.
In third grade, my teacher informed me that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I said, "So what? Do you know that Godzilla's suit weighs 188 pounds?"
Later, I asked my mom, "What is Asperger's Syndrome? Am I gonna die?" She said that it's like having blinders on, and that I can only see one thing at a time, and that it's hard to focus on other things. Like I would tell anyone and everyone that would listen about Godzilla because my big obsession was, and still is, Godzilla — not a real popular subject with the middle school crowd, and so the teasing continues.
I might be different because I have different interests than other teenagers, but that doesn't give them the right to be so mean and cruel to me. Kids at Oak Valley make fun of me for liking what I like the most.
People also make fun of me for knowing facts about volcanoes, whales, tornadoes and many other scientific things. My mom says that she has been able to answer many questions onJeopardy! just by listening to what I have to say, but I've even been ridiculed for being smart.
Maybe someday I'll become a gene engineer and create the real Godzilla. I can dream, can't I?
Sometimes I wish I were like everyone else, but not really. Because I believe people should be respected for being different because we're all different in our own ways. This I believe.
by JOSHUA YUCHASZ

Enter

I Am Still The Greatest

I have always believed in myself, even as a young child growing up in Louisville, Ky. My parents instilled a sense of pride and confidence in me, and taught me and my brother that we could be the best at anything. I must have believed them, because I remember being the neighborhood marble champion and challenging my neighborhood buddies to see who could jump the tallest hedges or run a foot race the length of the block. Of course I knew when I made the challenge that I would win. I never even thought of losing.In high school, I boasted weekly — if not daily — that one day I was going to be the heavyweight champion of the world. As part of my boxing training, I would run down Fourth Street in downtown Louisville, darting in and out of local shops, taking just enough time to tell them I was training for the Olympics and I was going to win a gold medal. And when I came back home, I was going to turn pro and become the world heavyweight champion in boxing. I never thought of the possibility of failing — only of the fame and glory I was going to get when I won. I could see it. I could almost feel it. When I proclaimed that I was the "Greatest of All Time," I believed in myself. And I still do.Throughout my entire boxing career, my belief in my abilities triumphed over the skill of an opponent. My will was stronger than their skills. What I didn't know was that my will would be tested even more when I retired.In 1984, I was conclusively diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Since that diagnosis, my symptoms have increased and my ability to speak in audible tones has diminished. If there was anything that would strike at the core of my confidence in myself, it would be this insidious disease. But my confidence and will to continue to live life as I choose won't be compromised.Early in 1996, I was asked to light the caldron at the Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta. Of course my immediate answer was yes. I never even thought of having Parkinson's or what physical challenges that would present for me.When the moment came for me to walk out on the 140-foot-high scaffolding and take the torch from Janet Evans, I realized I had the eyes of the world on me. I also realized that as I held the Olympic torch high above my head, my tremors had taken over. Just at that moment, I heard a rumble in the stadium that became a pounding roar and then turned into a deafening applause. I was reminded of my 1960 Olympic experience in Rome, when I won the gold medal. Those 36 years between Rome and Atlanta flashed before me, and I realized that I had come full circle.

by MUHAMMAD ALI....

Enter

Time Is Not On Your Side

Time: We all want it to pass so quickly. When we’re kids, all we want to do is be grownups; we chase down the minutes, hours and years until we’re old enough to get our license, graduate, drink, move out and move on. We wait for time to pass, anxious and unappreciative of the days that seem to crawl past in our slow adolescence.

Then we’re in our twenties and we just can’t wait to be taken seriously. Can’t wait to buy our first apartment, own a French press, throw away money on red ropes and bottle service. We start paying our dues for a pretend future we live in more than the actual present.

We envision our future selves, successful, secure and rich, always rich. But when we’re finally there, finally rich, successful and established, we’ll only be wondering where all the time went.

Your wealth won’t seem as good now that you can’t enjoy it the way you once imagined in your twenties. Your apartment seems empty without all the minutes, hours and years to fill it with. Those trips you waited to take don’t seem as great with grey hair and a speeding clock by your side. Suddenly, you’re not so sure you should have wasted all that time asking it to speed up.

Our parents always tell us that life goes by in the blink of an eye. Our grandparents tell us it’s over before we know it. They tell us to cherish our youth, enjoy it while it lasts, because it will be gone before you realize the scarcity of it.

Many of us have yet to hit that critical moment when we look back and realize there’s more time behind us than there will ever be in front of us. We have yet to lament over it, wishing we had slowed down. We have yet to find out too late that time is worth more than money. Time is worth more than VIP lounges, corner offices and 18-hour work days. And your time is worth more than anything. It’s worth more than days spent stressing and agonizing, it’s worth more than bad nights in and worse nights out. It’s worth more than sleeping the day away or refusing to acknowledge another sunrise.

The older you get, the more you realize time isn’t on your side. It’s the boy you chased away only to realize he’s the only one who matters and now it’s too late. It’s the girl you ignored until you realized her beauty and it was too late. It’s the deceiving, silent enemy in our lives that you can either learn to control or give in to. However you decide to treat it, just know it’s never on your side:
It Won’t Slow Down So You Can Catch Up

Time has no patience for the weak or the slow. It doesn’t care if you want to spend a week watching Netflix and eating Lays, it just won’t come back for you. It doesn’t have patience, tolerance or sympathy for those who can’t keep up or don’t know how to use it without regrets.
There’s Never More When You Need It

There are no extras, no hand outs and definitely no bonuses. Time is like that strict teacher who will never round you up a point, even a half point. It will never help you find the answers or let you cheat off it, because it’s really just cheating you.
It Doesn’t Care If You’re Running Out

Time has no remorse. It doesn’t care if you’re young, old, lived a full life or hardly lived at all. It will cut you short whenever it pleases and has no shame in giving you little warning.
It Doesn’t Care How Much Money You Have

It doesn’t matter how rich you are or how much money you make, you can never get the time back you wasted. Time has no preference for the rich, beautiful or the intelligent. It has an odd way of reminding you that it doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, it will get you either way.
It Sneaks Up On You When You Least Expect It

Like that stalker in high school you couldn’t get rid of, time is always lurking around. It seems to just hang there, never leaving the corner of your mind. And when you’re not thinking about it, not realizing it’s there anymore, it comes up behind you and you realize it’s never going to leave you alone.
It Never Warns You When You’re Running Low

Your time could stop at any moment. Time doesn’t slow down because you’re running out. It doesn’t stop so you can appreciate the moment or give you more time to do everything you wanted to do, but it especially doesn’t give you warning when it’s about to be too late.
It Makes You Think You Have An Unlimited Amount

When you’re young, time seems infinite. It feels like you can waste days on end and it won’t even make a dent. It makes you believe that old age is a fate that will never happen and will forever be on the side of the young.
It Likes To Play Games With You

It loves to slow down at work and speed up at play. It hides when you need it and stabs you in the back when you think you’re ahead of it. It doesn’t give hints, clues or warnings, and always makes sure you know it’s around when you’d rather not be aware.
It Won’t Give You A Break Because You’re Sick

There is never enough time to get over the flu and when you have to use your sick days to cover your aching joints, time seems to be the most unaccountable friend you have. You’ll never understand why 24 hours isn’t enough time to heal yourself, but is always enough time to just about ruin your life.
It Always Goes Faster On Vacation

Why is it that a week on vacation never feels like a week? It’s like the second you get on the plane, there’s a warp and days become minutes as you find yourself wishing for one of the few times in your over-worked life that it would just slow the f*ck down.
It Always Has A Price

You can’t pay to get more, but it always feels like you’re giving up something for it. You can’t be in two places at once, can’t stay up all night long, can’t spend a year traveling and that same year working. Time always demands a sacrifice, and it’s the things you give it and the things you refuse to pay that determine the worth of your time.

Enter

The 50 Things I Want My Son To Know

1. How to ride a bike.

2. How to throw a ball.

3. How to read and write.

4. That life doesn’t only have a beginning, but also an end.

5. That women must be respected.

6. That respect is a two-way street.

7. There’s no reason to start a fight, but if a fight is started then be the one to finish it.

8. How to shave.

9. If you think a girl is beautiful then tell her she is.

10. Not everyone is well off, so be thankful for what you have.

11. Those who are well off should help those who aren’t.

12. The only real help one needs is to be helped to help oneself.

13. Our planet as a whole must be respected.

14. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s the struggles that make our lives worth living. Without lows, we wouldn’t have highs.

15. An easy life is a boring life and a boring life is a wasted life.

16. The world is meant to be explored.

17. Everything in the world is logical – when it seems otherwise, we just don’t see all the moving pieces.

18. If you never stop learning, you’ll never stop living.

19. Logic and reason are really the only tools needed in life.

20. Knowledge is power and with power comes a price. Some things it’s better not to know.

21. If you fall in love, stay in love for as long as you possibly can.

22. Don’t rush a relationship – take things slow. There’s no hurry.

23. Moving in together is a very big step. Make sure you’re ready because moving in too early can ruin a relationship.

24. If a relationship has to end, then end it. Never drag it out.

25. Sometimes we need to lie. The reason we’re lying determines whether or not it’s wrong.

26. Drugs are very much overrated.

27. So is drinking.

28. Sex is not.

29. If the sex isn’t good, then make it good. If you can’t make it good, then move on.

30. Never settle in life.

31. Intimacy is incredibly important in a relationship.

32. As is being honest with your partner – avoid lying to him or her unless completely necessary.

33. Be sure to always use your moral compass.

34. Be good to people and appreciate them.

35. Your goal in life is to find your purpose.

36. Your purpose is doing something that both benefits others and that you love doing. If no one appreciates what you do then there’s not much reason to do it.

37. Always try to win.

38. Accept failures as life lessons.

39. Never give up on your dreams.

40. You should set long-term and short-term goals for yourself.

41. You are in control of your body and your mind.

42. Meditate regularly.

43. Stay physically active and in shape.

44. Eat healthy because being healthy is the most important thing in life. Literally.

45. Use protection. Always. At the very least until you’re married.

46. Don’t have kids too young. But don’t wait too long either.

47. Love is a decision.

48. Your life is in your control.

49. Your family is always there for you and you should always be there for your family.

50. Life isn’t filled with friends, but find the right friends and your life will be wonderful.

Enter

40 Ways to a Better 2014

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time for prayer and reflection
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2012.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for at least 7 hours.

Personality:
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day — and while you walk, smile.
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo; keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70and under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right things.
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. Forgiveness heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, don’t take it for granted – embrace life.
39. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy and ENJOY LIFE!

Last but not least:
40. Grow your relationship with God.

Enter

To make the proper choices in life we have to make priorities. Here are ten things that I believe are among the most important thing

1. The most important thing parents can do for their kids is to have a good relationship with each other. This is where children get their lessons in life on how to be with another person. Set a good example.

2. The most important thing a man can do for his love is to cherish them. If your mate feels your love and knows that you are there for them, it creates a very strong foundation.

3. The most important thing a woman can do for her partner is to be a great cheerleader. We all need to know that we are the star player in the eyes of the person we love.

4. The most important thing to know about yourself is that you are good enough. You don't have to be the best at anything to have a great life. Don't let anyone's criticism of something you've done keep you from feeling good about yourself.

5. The most important thing to feel is that you are loved. Life without love is just tolerable. I really think that feeling the love, where ever it comes from, is the only way to truly experience life to its fullest.

6. The most important thing to do in life is to contribute to the well-being of humanity. Everything else aside, the knowledge that you have made the world a tiny bit better just by being here and trying to help is a great way to get you through the rough patches.

7. The most important thing to remember is that special person who has been good to you. That teacher in grammar school who helped you discover a special talent you have. The one who won your heart. The person whose name you'll never know who pulled over to help you change a tire.

8. The most important thing to give to yourself is time. Life is a limited window of opportunity. Wasting time (which is different from relaxing) is one of the ways we hurt ourselves. Anger, resentment, feeling too sorry for ourselves, and plotting revenge are just a few of the ways we waste the precious minutes of our lives.

9. The most important thing in the world is the people who are in it. Look, if we were really meant to be alone, there wouldn't be so many of us on the planet. Your mission is to find those deserving of your talents and time and to treasure and share your life with them.

10. The most important thing in life is to feel that you are living it to the best of your abilities. Knowing that you are reaching your potential is comforting. You want your life to end with as few regrets as possible.

These life lessons are just common sense, but I have found over the years that common sense ain't all that common.

Enter